Why Valerie Bertinelli doesn't consider marriage to ex Eddie Van Halen a failure: 'We grew, we di...

Bertinelli explained that she still has a &34;deep love&34; for the late rocker even though they divorced. Why Valerie Bertinelli doesn't consider marriage to e

Bertinelli explained that she still has a "deep love" for the late rocker even though they divorced.

Why Valerie Bertinelli doesn't consider marriage to ex Eddie Van Halen a failure: 'We grew, we didn't work'

Bertinelli explained that she still has a "deep love" for the late rocker even though they divorced.

By Emlyn Travis

Emlyn Travis is a news writer at **. She has been working at EW since 2022. Her work has previously appeared on MTV News, Teen Vogue, and *NME*.

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October 24, 2025 4:02 p.m. ET

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Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen. Credit:

Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty

Valerie Bertinelli doesn't consider her marriage to late rocker Eddie Van Halen a "failure" even if they ultimately went their separate ways.

The *One Day at a Time* actress reflected on her previous relationships with Van Halen and businessman Tom Vitale on Friday's episode of* The Drew Barrymore Show. *The topic came up while they were discussing Ben Stiller's recent revelation that he felt like he was failing when he separated from his wife, Christine Taylor, in 2017.

"I don't like to think of my two marriages as having failed, necessarily, but just… I don't know," Bertinelli confessed. "We grew, we didn't work … what happened I don't know, but I don't feel like it was a failure because there were many years there that were so happy. And I have Wolfie [Van Halen, her son with Eddie]."

Eddie Van Halen and Valerie Bertinelli in 1994.

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Bertinelli and Van Halen tied the knot in 1981 and welcomed their son, Wolfgang, in 1991. The couple were together for more than two decades before their divorce was finalized in 2007. The actress and author later married Vitale in 2011, but the pair split in 2022.

Host Drew Barrymore agreed that there's "no room" for the word "failure" when it comes to describing Bertinelli and Van Halen's marriage because the couple shared a "giant, decades-long life" together.

"No, I mean, we were so young. I was 20 when we got married," Bertinelli said. "But I just can't think of it as a failure, because I still have deep love for the man even though he's not here."

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However, she clarified, "And it's not a romantic love — I know people get that all confused when I say soulmates and everything. It wasn't romantic love any longer, it was just a deep love for a soul that I adored. And he was a good man."

She also pointed out that her experience is not unlike Barrymore's, who shares daughters Olive and Frankie with her ex-husband Will Kopelman.

"I mean, you have these gorgeous girls who are so sweet and kind and so much like you, and they've got so much energy, and they're just so wonderful and vibrant," she said. "And you're just like, how can you hate anything that has [led to] something so gorgeous in front of you?"

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Barrymore thanked Bertinelli for the compliment before acknowledging that a lot of what we deem to be successes or failures comes from age and life experience. "Why are we supposed to be nailing it in our 20s, 30s, and 40s?" she asked. "I just reached 50 — this is the first time I feel like I really have it together, and that took a lifetime of mine."

Bertinelli agreed, adding, "And all of the lessons that you learned through mistakes and successes. So it's not a failure — you're just learning so much!"

Drew Barrymore, Valerie Bertinelli, and Ross Mathews on 'The Drew Barrymore Show'.

The Drew Barrymore Show

The pair's fellow "Drew's News" cohost, Ross Mathews, jumped in to note that learning and growing is just part of the journey.

"Here's a little fact nobody tells you about everybody else: Everybody else is just making it up as they go along," he said. "When you look at other people, you're comparing — 'Oh, I wish I could be together like that.' They're just figuring it out minute by minute, day by day. That's all we're doing!"

Last year, Bertinelli explained in a since-deleted Instagram video that she didn't consider Van Halen to be her soulmate.

"After Ed died, I was more than willing to put myself in the 'grieving widow' category for a man that I hadn't lived with for 20 years," she said at the time, referencing Van Halen's 2020 death. "What we had together was this beautiful son that we both unconditionally loved."

She continued, "That's what I got out of that marriage: Wolfie, the best thing that ever happened to me. Not a soulmate."

*The Drew Barrymore Show* airs weekdays on CBS.

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