Experts Reveal 9 Traits of Grandmothers Who Stay Close To Their Grandkids Beth Ann MayerSeptember 6, 2025 at 9:10 PM 12 Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images We often focus on parentchild relationships—and for good reason. Parents serve as primary caregivers and dayone teachers.
- - Experts Reveal 9 Traits of Grandmothers Who Stay Close To Their Grandkids
Beth Ann MayerSeptember 6, 2025 at 9:10 PM
12
Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images
We often focus on parent-child relationships—and for good reason. Parents serve as primary caregivers and day-one teachers. However, psychologists stress that a grandmother's love is something truly special in its own right."Grandparent relationships are special and hold a unique kind of magic," shares Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. "They offer a mix of unconditional love, life wisdom and a sense of family history. Grandparents provide emotional safety, offer mentorship, life stories and different perspectives."Also, these days, grandparents are taking a greater role than ever in their grandchildren's lives. In a 2024 National Poll on Healthy Aging report, 60% of grandparents aged 50 to 64 said they provided daily or near-daily childcare. Grandparents who saw their grandchildren more frequently also reported feeling less isolated.Yet, grandmothers don't have to live next door to a grandchild or provide regular childcare to develop unbreakable bonds with them. Instead, mental health professionals encourage grandmas to show up regularly in other, meaningful ways through words and actions. Specifically, they say that grandmothers who stay closest to their grandchildren consistently do these nine things.Related: Grandparents Who Make the Biggest Impact on Their Grandkids Usually Do These 10 Things, Psychologists Say
9 Traits of Grandmas Who Stay Close to Their Grandkids, According to Experts1. They are present
Consistency is key in big moments and small."Children feel secure when they know they can count on you," shares Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor."Presence" may feel challenging if you live hours from a grandchild. As great as face-to-face time is, FaceTimes can also ensure grandmas remain consistent forces in their grandchildren's lives."[Remaining present] does not have to be physical but rather just regular communication; it builds emotional continuity," clarifies Kiana Shelton, LCSW, a therapist with Mindpath Health. "Showing up says, 'You matter to me every day, not just on big days, such as birthdays or holidays.'"Shelton suggests setting regular check-ins at the same time each week."The key is not the length of the interaction, but the consistency of it," she notes.Related: 9 Habits of Grandparents Who Stay Emotionally Close to Their Grandkids—Even From Far Away
2. They're pros at active listening
During regular check-ins, experts advise grandmas looking to develop close connections with grandkids to practice active listening."It shows respect for a child's thoughts and feelings, no matter how small they seem," explains Dr. Karim J. Torres Sanchez, Psy.D,a licensed clinical psychologist with LBee Health. "When a child feels heard, they feel valued. To implement this, put down your phone and make eye contact. Do not interrupt. Instead, listen to their entire story."When you take the "floor," Dr. Torres Sanchez suggests asking follow-up questions, such as, "How did that make you feel?" or "What happened next?"
3. They're safe confidants
Establishing yourself as a safe, non-judgmental presence in a grandchild's life can foster tight ties. "You become a reliable support system," Dr. Torres Sanchez says about keeping secrets (unless they involve harm to themselves or others)."Reassure them that what they say to you stays with you," Dr. Torres Sanchez notes. "Be a calm, non-anxious presence when they come to you with a problem."
4. They love learning about their grandchildren
Instead of a "kids-these-days" approach, grandmas who stay close to their grandkids get curious about their interests, even if they don't know the difference between a TikTok and a Snapchat."Taking an interest in your grandchild's hobbies is a powerful way to connect," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Whether it's sports, books or art, joining them in their world says, 'I value what you care about.'"In some families, Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes that kids are encouraged to share in cultural practices like dance, language or music with their grandparents. So, learning about contemporary graphic novels or the latest TikTok-trending baking recipe turns the practice into a two-way street.Shelton agrees, adding that getting curious about a grandchild shows you view them as their own person and not a carbon copy of you (or their parents).Related: Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 10 Habits
5. They encourage more than correct
Grandparents are a source of wisdom—we promise we'll get there. However, experts suggest that grandmothers leave space to cheerlead."Children hear plenty of rules and corrections elsewhere," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Grandmothers can focus on encouragement, noticing effort and celebrating small wins. In some cultures, encouragement may come through words, while in others it may be expressed through acts of service, presence or shared meals."Dr. Schiff agrees that a grandma's encouragement can make a significant impact on a child."Offering encouragement and support helps boost confidence and resilience," she explains. "Simply saying, 'Good luck' before a big event or attending milestones in person is the simplest way to do this."
6. They share wisdom and stories
As promised, grandmothers have a lifetime of knowledge. Passing it on to future generations is a way to leave a lasting legacy."Storytelling connects grandkids to their roots and gives them a sense of belonging," Dr. Schiff says.Dr. Torres Sanchez adds that it gives you an opportunity to show a grandchild that everyone experiences challenges and triumphs as they write a life story that's uniquely theirs. It's also the perfect excuse to dust off albums."Show them old photos and explain what life was like when you were young," Dr. Torres Sanchez suggests. "You can say, 'This is the house I grew up in,' or 'This was your mom when she was a little.'"Related: 11 Things the Most Emotionally Supportive Grandparents Do Differently, According to a Psychologist
7. They're accountable
Wisdom doesn't mean knowing everything or being perfect. There's value in grandkids seeing that even their grandmothers make mistakes."It's never easy to say you are wrong, but doing so both to your grandchildren and to your adult children models emotional maturity," Shelton says. "Consider apologizing if you overstep or say something hurtful. Remember, healthy relationships are built on honesty, not perfection."
8. They offer support to the parents
It's not just about cheerleading grandkids—although that's important. Providing—or at least offering—support to the parents (one of whom is probably your own child) is another way to ensure your relationship with your grandchild remains air-tight."Helping parents with practical needs strengthens the whole family and creates more natural ways to be close to your grandchild," Dr. Lira de la Rosa reports. "Support can look different depending on culture and identity, from childcare and meals to financial help or spiritual guidance."
9. They know their role
Regardless of the type of support that grandmas provide, experts advise them to stay in their lane if they want to maintain a close relationship with their grandchild."Grandmothers who respect the parents' rules and don't undermine them are more likely to be trusted and welcomed when offering support," Shelton emphasizes. "Avoid giving unsolicited parenting advice. Instead, support the parents' choices and reinforce their rules with the grandkids, even if you don't agree."Related: 6 Things a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Start Doing ASAP
The One Mistake To Avoid if You Want To Stay Close to Your Grandkids
Experts say it's vital for grandmothers to avoid criticizing their grandchildren's parents if they want to remain a trusted and consistent force in the kiddo's life. "It can confuse kids and put strain on family relationships," Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes. "If you have concerns, bring them up directly with the parents in private."Dr. Schiff echoes similar sentiments."If a grandmother wants to stay close to her grandkid, I would make sure to avoid overstepping or criticizing parenting choices," she shares. "Closeness thrives when grandparents support, rather than undermine the parents' rules, which creates distance or makes the child feel caught in the middle."
Up Next:
Related: 9 Signs Your Adult Child Tolerates You But Doesn't Love You, Psychologists Warn
Sources: -
Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist
Grandparents help grandkids in many ways – but the reverse may be true too, poll suggests. National Poll on Healthy Aging.
Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor
Kiana Shelton, LCSW, a therapist with Mindpath Health
Dr. Karim J. Torres Sanchez, Psy.D, a licensed clinical psychologist with LBee Health
This story was originally reported by Parade on Sep 6, 2025, where it first appeared in the Life section. Add Parade as a Preferred Source by clicking here.
Source: "AOL Lifestyle"
Source: VoXi MAG
Read More >> Full Article on Source: VoXi MAG
#US #ShowBiz #Sports #Politics #Celebs
